


Lost and Found

by holdingtorches



Category: War Horse (2011)
Genre: Confession, F/M, Fluff, Letters, Period Piece, wwi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2019-02-06 15:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12820323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdingtorches/pseuds/holdingtorches
Summary: Captain Nicholls is alive.





	Lost and Found

_Bang._

And as soon as he heard the sound, Captain James Nicholls fell off his horse with a bullet wound in his chest. He landed with a painful  _thud_  on the dank soil. With all the strength he could muster, he looked up at the forest canopy, thinking that it was to be the last thing he’d ever see. The pain of his gunshot wound stung, and he stared at the muted light that escaped the trees, thinking that he was ready to die.

But fate had other plans.

It was WWI. As soon as Ava Fraser received the ‘go’ signal, she set off on her duty for King and Country. Before the Cavalry left for battle, Major Jamie Stewart tasked her to count the fallen and save the living wounded once the battle was over, if there were any. The young nurse rode her horse silently and as discreetly as she could along the dirt path; it would be the end for her if a German soldier spotted her. She looked around her and over her shoulder just to check if there were any mercenaries from the wrong side of the battlefield. There was a war going on and she had to take every precaution she can. Seeing that the coast was absolutely clear, she got off her horse and tied it to a tree trunk. She was at the edge of a forest, and she peered through the fog. She saw that the trail was rocky and grumbled under her breath as she put the hood of her cloak over her head, thankful that she wore a light cotton blouse and man’s trousers instead of her uniform. She felt slightly upset by the task that Major Stewart gave her.

She treaded the ground carefully. As if looking out for hidden Jerries wasn’t enough, she also had to watch her step, avoiding rocks and potholes in the ground. She sauntered on towards the heart of the forest and saw the body of a British soldier. Ava rushed toward the body and shock riddled her being, putting her hand over her mouth and widening her eyes. The corpse she saw belonged to none other than the man who gave her the very mission she was working on. Major Stewart’s eyes were open and lifeless, and they gave an eerie glint that sent shivers down the nurse’s spine. She knelt down and closed his eyes, adding one to the tally of the fallen and checking to see if he had left any letters for his family in the secret pocket in the soldier’s uniform. There were some, and she put them in her coat’s spacious pocket.

Ava walked on, counting the fallen soldiers and checking their vital signs. The list of dead soldiers grew and grew. Her cloak pocket was becoming heavy with all the letters she had collected; she found not a single living soul. She neared the place where the forest met the clearing and saw the last soldier she hadn’t seen yet: Captain James Nicholls. Her heart sank. She grew quite fond of the captain; he did all the things Jamie wouldn’t do. He would always greet her a cheerful ‘good morning’ whenever he saw her at camp and helped her whenever she had too much for her already big, mannish hands to carry. If truth were told, she had fallen in love with the captain. Rumours spread among the infirmary’s nurses one afternoon that Captain Nicholls was married; Ava knew they were false when he helped her with carrying a shipment of bandages that came the same afternoon. She saw that there was no wedding ring on his left hand, and she remembered her delight when she made that observation. The memory seemed so far away now, as if it had been a century since it happened.

His eyes were closed, and Ava let out a sigh of relief, thinking that it would break her heart even more if she saw those mesmerising blue eyes of his lacking the cheer and life she saw in them the morning earlier. She knelt down and searched through James’s coat, trying to retrieve the letters he left for his family. As she rummaged through the soldier’s uniform, a cold, grimy hand grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

The nurse’s head snapped up, only to find herself staring into Captain Nicholl’s blue eyes.

“Ava…” the soldier croaked, his grip on her wrist loosening.

“Captain Nicholls!” Ava squealed as softly as possible. “You’re alive!”

“Barely,” he replied in a whisper, his other hand covering his wound.

“Thank God someone’s alive,” she said, unable to conceal her happiness as she helped the soldier get up.

The captain staggered to his feet and used Ava to support himself. Before she walked on, she grabbed a knife and marked the tree he was resting against with an ‘A’. Together, they got to where the nurse had tied her horse as soon as they could. Ava untied her horse and secured the captain first, then herself. When she was sure that everything was alright, her horse went off in a gallop towards the camp.

Captain Nicholls awoke to find himself lying in an infirmary bed. He inspected himself, seeing that all extremities were still intact and that there were only bandages around his head and his chest. The sunlight was streaming through the window a few metres away from his bed, and he discovered that he was all alone.

At that moment, Ava came into the room in her nurse’s uniform, carrying a tray with food, water, and some medicine. She set the tray on the table beside his bed and straightened herself up.

“How’re you today, Captain Nicholls?” she asked and her smile was, in James’s opinion, even brighter than the sunshine outside.

“Lovely, Ava. Absolutely wonderful. But,” he said, “how bad was it?” he asked, looking at the nurse.

“Well, for starters, you’re the only one left alive, sir. You sustained a shot in the chest and you were suffering with the loss of a lethal amount of blood, but you managed to pull through as if by grace. You’ve been asleep for about nine hours after your operation, sir. The bullet was taken out successfully, and the doctor said you can start eating lightly now. I’ve brought you some water and bread, Captain. I hope that’s alright with you, sir.”

“That would be nice, Ava. Thank you. But please don’t call me ‘Captain’ or ‘sir’; just call me ‘James’. After all, you  _are_  the one who saved my life,” he said, smiling warmly at the nurse.

Ava blushed and looked down at the floor for a moment. She then realised she had to snap out of it, and she helped the captain sit up, propping up some pillows behind him and making sure he was as comfortable as possible.

“So,” Captain Nicholls said in after a sip of water, “why were you there in the forest when you found me?”

Ava sighed. “I was sent on a mission by Major Stewart to count the fallen and retrieve the letters that the soldiers kept in their pockets for their families,” the nurse replied.

“Jamie tasked you to do so?” Captain Nicholls asked. “He was so confident about our victory and yet even he…” The soldier trailed off, and Ava knew the end of his broken sentence.

Silence hung in the hot, crisp air. The memory of a dead man wafted in the air and lingered between them. Ava couldn’t help but think of how the Major used to treat her. She then realised that there wasn’t much to think of. Major Stewart never did greet her a ‘good morning’ and he always answered her questions in short sentences. His attitude to her felt almost cold and cruel, which is probably why Ava stopped caring altogether. The Major’s last words to her were “I promise, I’ll see you when this is over. I’ve something to tell you.” He never was able to fulfil his promise, and it was a saddening thought. Still, Ava didn’t let it dampen her spirits. One man died yet another still lived in her care. Britain was in wartime; she had learnt how to carry on as time passed. She had to keep a positive outlook for her patient, and she smiled a soft smile in the captain’s direction.

“You may be wondering why Jamie was so distant with you, Ava,” Captain Nicholls said, as if reading the nurse’s thoughts. “He was afraid to make a fool of himself, which is why he spoke to you as little as he could. He was afraid to haver in your presence—a presence he treasured dearly. And to think he planned on confessing his feelings for you after the battle! He was an entirely different person in the confines of our offices; he would constantly tell me his thoughts about you. He marvelled at your loveliness when you passed him in the morning, and how adorable you looked whenever you pouted. He’d tell me small facts about you, like how you’d play the piano in the mess hall or read Robert Burns whenever you had time to spare. Are you Scottish, Ava?” the captain asked, turning to face her.

His question made the nurse snap out of her reverie. She was lost in the shocking thought of Major Stewart actually loving her. After all, he had his fair share of admirers from the nurses’ office too. The knowledge Captain Nicholls had imparted to her explained Major Stewart’s last words to her. Although, Ava had always liked her men clean-shaven and thoughtful. “My mother’s Glaswegian and my father’s from Morningside, but I was born and raised in London, sir,” she replied, only to receive an expectant look from the soldier. “I mean… James.”

“That’s much better,” James said. “My father is a Londoner, yes. But my mother is from Dundee, and I remember how she’d force-feed me the haggis she made. How I miss it,” he said longingly.

“Well, surely you can have it when wartime is over, James,” Ava said reassuringly.

“I can’t,” he replied.

“Why not?”

“My parents died in a train crash in Aberdeen two years ago.”

“I-I’m sorry, James,” Ava apologised, immediately regretting what she had said earlier.

“It’s alright Ava. We best get back to the topic. The thing is Ava… Jamie had always loved you but… there aren’t any letters in my uniform’s pocket save one. Won’t you get it for me?” James requested of her.

Ava was confused because of the abrupt change of topic. James’s latter statement had no connection to his previous one. Even so, the nurse dutifully walked to the far side of the room and took the solitary letter in the captain’s military uniform pocket. She returned to the soldier in his bed and handed him the envelope. James shook his head and told her to read the addressee’s name.

Ava turned the letter to its back and there, in the captain’s neat, boyish handwriting, was her own name, Ava Beatrix Fraser.

The nurse lifted her head to stare at the soldier, and he smiled a warm smile in her direction.   
“Go on and open it. Read what it says,” James urged her, slightly leaning forward while anticipating her reaction.

She seated herself down on the chair facing the captain’s side of the bed and with trembling fingers, Ava undid the seal and pulled the letter out. Silently, she read what it said:

_Dearest Ava,_

_I’ll never forget the first time I saw you. We were setting up camp at that time. Your arms were full with boxes and you were quite busy, but you stopped and smiled, greeting me a good afternoon. I stopped in my tracks to return your greeting. Then you pouted, not because you were dissatisfied with my greeting, but because a box had fallen from your grasp. I offered to give you a hand, and you said ‘That would be lovely, sir. Thank you so much!’ You then gave me the brightest smile I had ever seen in my entire life, and it left me breathless and content until you handed me a third of the boxes you were carrying. As to why you didn’t hand me half, I’ll never know._

_Oh, that smile! It cradled so much more than happiness; it cradled the meaning of my life itself. As I walked with you to the infirmary, I felt that something changed inside me, as if something wasn’t quite right. I only realised much later—three days later—, while lying awake and unable to sleep in my bunk bed in the silent dead of night, that it was my heartbeat. It was no longer the hard, introverted beating of a lovelorn soldier’s heart; it had morphed into a soft, joyous heartbeat of a man, accompanying the sweet song of love._

_I walked into our offices the next day without a single wink of sleep, only to find Jamie smiling from ear to ear. I asked him why, and he said that he fell in love with a nurse. When I asked him which one, he said that he had fallen in love with you. When I asked him when, he replied a nonchalant “Yesterday, while she was playing the piano in the mess hall.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I’ve loved you longer and more ardently._

_Weeks passed, and I slowly inched closer to you (well, maybe inches are too big. Centimetres, maybe?). I couldn’t help but notice the time when you stared studiously at my left hand. Were you looking for a wedding ring, my darling girl? Well, that’s impossible; I’ve waited for you all this time to slip such a ring onto my finger._

_Ava, by the time you’ve read this letter, Jamie must’ve swept you off your feet and asked you to be his ‘til the end of his days. But I’d like you to know that I’ve loved you longer and a hundredfold more than he ever did; my love was simply sleeping soundly until you shook me with your warm kindness and silent fervour. When my love awoke, it rose with the fanatical burning of the phoenix in the Orient and the depth of the Marianas Trench that our soldiers based in Hong Kong told stories about. In my eyes, you have usurped the beauty of every single woman to ever grace the earth. You have altered my universe immensely, and that is something I am exceedingly grateful for._

_I love you, Ava, and no dream or person can haze or equal the joy and hope you’ve given me. I will love you for the rest of my life and its unlived days that come after my death._

_In the event that you are still single while reading this letter, please leave a box of bandages tied in the red silk ribbon you use for tying your hair on my office’s table, if you are interested in loving a man as plain and lacklustre as I am._

_Yours until the end of eternity,_

_Captain James Nicholls_

Ava looked up to stare at the Captain, who was now tight-lipped with anticipation. She stood up and placed the letter on her seat, giving the captain one more placid look before rushing to the infirmary’s cupboards, which were hidden from James’s sight.

The captain sighed, knowing that he would eventually be answered this way: in silence. He leant back into his pillows and resigned himself to a defeat worse than the one Britain had just experienced in the hands of the Germans. His head hung low and his breathing was heavy.

All of a sudden, he heard footsteps walking towards him, and he looked up to find Ava, with her soft, straight, blonde hair framing her face, standing at the foot of his bed. He looked down to find something in her hands: a box of bandages, tied in her red silk ribbon. Ava smiled at him and placed the box on his lap.

“Ava,” James whispered, and the nurse felt tears forming in her eyes. She pulled her chair closer to his bedside and sat down, gripping his hands tightly. “I will never let you go. I love you, darling,” the soldier whispered the girl beside him, and Ava felt relief wash over her.

“I love you so much, James. Try not to get yourself killed, all right?” she said, her heart overflowing with so many incomprehensible feelings.

The twosome remained there, basking in the warmth of the sunlight filtering through the window and the newfound glory of their love. Life and love had enshrouded and affected them down to the very centres of their beings. They didn’t know what their lives and their love would be like with the war going on. The path they were taking was unfamiliar and vague. And yet, they couldn’t possibly have cared less.

They were both lost and found in love. And that was how they wanted things to be.


End file.
